My comment:
I totally understand where you’re coming from. The belief in a deity was very strong in me when I was devoutly religious. Even now, I’m on the spectrum between Agnostic Deist and Implicit Atheist.
But I was able to reject Islam independently of questioning God’s existence. Being honest is most important to me, and a beneficent God would not fault me for following my conscience. You don’t need to be absolutely right with the Ultimate Reality right this very minute or else you’re going to Hell.
That’s an effective fear mongering tactic. Don’t fall for it. Don’t let that fear stop you from rational exploration. Fear is a negative emotion. It has some positive benefits. But when it inhibits you from exploration and questioning, then religious fear, in my estimation, is manipulation and it is wrong.
Searching is a journey. Just be true to what makes sense to you now. And then have an open heart and open mind to keep refining (or changing) your position, as evidence comes to you. Wherever that leads you.
Honesty demanded that I reject Islam. Whether there is a Theistic God or a Deistic God or deity as we conceive it, was and is, a separate question.
But I knew that with the conceptions of God that we are taught as Muslims from childhood, the Qur’an — and thereby Islam — were not worthy of that God. Why would that loving creator commit genocide against homosexuals (the people of Lut)?
Two female witnesses for one male in a timeless book? Why? Is that prescriptive or descriptive? To dozens of questions like this, all I would get would be dodges from religious leadership and scholars. And I grew up Ahmadi Muslim — their apologetics are much more palatable to the modern mind than mainstream Islam. And I still found it lacking.
So my humble suggestion: unlink trying to find a religion that is the most “likely” of the bunch, just b/c you believe in a God. You’re starting with a conclusion in mind instead of evaluating the facts and reasoning about them, to see where it takes you.
Evaluate each religion/denomination on it’s own theological merits. And if you reject them all, know that you are being honest with yourself.
You can then separately ponder the existence of a God. Maybe there is a deistic Creator — one who doesn’t interact with us. He just set things in motion. Don’t discount that.
If you accept a religion based on real honesty and reason, without deceiving yourself, then I am also happy for you. My only wish is that you use your reasoning faculties, and shed inherited bias that we have all grown up with.
More from me here: https://reasononfaith.org/welcome/
To help you with the philosophy of it all, I recommend this playlist of videos by the eminently talented TheraminTrees: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL56z7XfkZRzQLRV3bZ-0Z8psSirpuxTbm